What Did You Call Your Vagina?

Why I refer to animals in the class Aves by their common names whenever possible

2009-04-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

It is my contention that, when naming a kid's genitalia, you should choose something that is a nonsense word - or, at least, a word that isn't in every-day use.

You should CERTAINLY not choose a word that is in the top 500 most common words in the english (or whatever happens to be your native) language!!!

I, poor lass, was victim of this parenting (grandparenting?) misstep.

So, what did I call my vagina?
bird

According to my mom, there was no good reason for this other than that's what my grandmother called it. Also, according to my brother, that's what they called his equipment as well. Now, for some reason the term makes kinda some sense in reference to the whole male set-up (I mean, has anyone ever seen a turkey's waddle or the pink part of a flamingo beak?).

Anyway, I contend that I have been traumatized. The height of the trauma was my junior year of high school. That fall, our theater department performed Nunsense. Now, I applaud Dan Goggins for writing a script that was seemingly tailor-made for the girls we cast. Amy Cuzzort, if I remember correctly, was Sister Hubert, along with some girl I can't remember playing Sister Julia.

The gist of the play is that some nuns are trying to raise money by putting on a variety show. One of the acts is a cooking segment, and Sisters Julia & Hubert kind of freestyle their way through the segment. Finally they come upon a decent recipe to do - turkey stuffing.

The line "Put your bird in the oven" still gives me the uh-oh feeling to this day.

BONUS AWESOME NUNSENSE LINE:

Getting this name thing going...

2009-04-14T20:57:00.001-07:00

So, first of all, we really want to hear what it is that you called your lady bits when you were a kid.
You don't have to actually comment - you can email us at whatdidyoucallyourvagina -at- gmail (dot) com, tell us your euphemism, your epithet, your metonym... AND your story, and we'll be happy to anonymize you so that your story can go down in vagina history without you actually having to reveal your identity.

My conception of how it'll work is kind of like fellow Nashvillian Emily's "The Clothes That Got Me Laid" blog (check it out, it's TOTALLY worth a visit...)

Anyway, to get us started, I'll post about mine before the week is out. Meanwhile, send us your stories!

So, what did you call it?

2009-04-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

It's fascinating...there are so many names out there that little girls (and maybe boys too!) called their vaginas as they were growing up. We want to know them all, but mostly the where in the world did my mom come up with that? names. Give us the stories too, of course, if you know or if you dare tell.

Remember hearing your mom yell at you when you were in the bathtub?
Don't forget to wash your _________!!!

(This is supposed to honest and fun, so please leave out the not-so-nice, R-rated terms. Hopefully, you didn't use one of those as a little girl!)

We want to know - WHAT DID YOU CALL YOUR VAGINA?